yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I think I won the penis lottery.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
