i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
