First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
