your thong is hanging out like whoa
i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
