Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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