Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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