he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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