Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
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