Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
