Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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