why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
