Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
