I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Come see our sink grown plant.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Randomize
