I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
As shirtless as possible
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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