im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize