You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
