Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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