A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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