Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize