Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
