you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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