is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize
