Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
