Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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