I wanna passion pit in your ass
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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