Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
