Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
i think i have two assholes
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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