So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
