I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
