Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
