I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Randomize
