In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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