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Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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