There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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