Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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