I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
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