I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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