Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
