ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
