i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize