It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Randomize
