Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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