I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
