The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
so let's talk penis.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
