Do you still have your period?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize