I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Watching her eat just hurts me
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
