Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Green mimosas i think yes
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Randomize
