Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Randomize