whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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