The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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