I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Randomize