So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
