i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
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