You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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