All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
So much Jack, so little girl.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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