So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
