Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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