I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
