i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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