just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Randomize
