i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
