whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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