she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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