whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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