don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
