Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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