wrigley field is MILF paradise
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
