Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
