She said her name was "party"
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize